FOREWORD
I moved to Hollywood to live the dream.
Along the way, I had a few car wrecks.
I got married several times and
divorced several times.
I also survived a few
death-defying feats.
This is my story.


Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - CARWRECKS AND STRANGE NEIGHBORS
Chapter 2 - MOVIES & MURDER (a real murder mystery)
Chapter 3 - I BECOME A MILLIONAIRE (almost)
Chapter 4 - I MOVE TO THE LAND OF DIZZY KNEE
Chapter 5 - I SURVIVE MY FIRST DEATH-DEFYING FEAT
Chapter 6 - I MOVE TO HOLLYWOOD
Chapter 7 - EMPLOYED & UNEMPLOYED IN HOLLYWOOD
Chapter 8 - JUST WINK
Chapter 9 - THE HOLLWOOD CRUISER
Chapter 10 POTTERGATE
Chapter 11 - THE COMMERCIAL: IÕM FINE. JUST FINE
Chapter 12 - WINK AND AMERICA
Chapter 13 - I MARRY A CHERRY
Chapter 14 - I MARRIED A JUNKIE
Chapter 15 - I MARRIED ELVIS
Chapter 16 - ASHES TO ASHES
Chapter 17- MY BANK GETS ROBBED
Chapter 18 - I MARRIED A MURDERER
Chapter 19 - I MARRIED AN ALIEN
Chapter 20 - I MARRIED A POLYGAMIST
Chapter 21 - MY POLYGAMIST FAMILY AND SHAKESPEARE
Chapter 22- I MARRIED A SPY
Chapter 23 - THE BOYS IN THE BASEMENT
Chapter 24 - OF RIOTS AND EARTHQUAKES
Chapter 25 - OF COPS AND POLITICIANS
CH26 - HOW TO TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD
Chapter 27 - OF FIRES AND FLOODS
Chapter 28 - I MARRIED A NI... (donÕt slap me, my mom already did)
Chapter 29 - OPRAH SAVES MY LIFE
Chapter 30 - I MARRIED TROUBLE
Chapter 31 - I MARRIED THE MAFIA
Chapter 32 - I GET THROWN FROM A CAR
Chapter 33 - I MARRIED DONNY & MARIE
Chapter 34 - I MARRIED A PENTHOUSE PET
Chapter 35 - I MARRIED A PLAYBOY BUNNY
Chapter 36 - I LEAVE THE EXCITING WORLD OF ENTERTAINMENT & BECOME A TRUCK DRIVER
Chapter 37 - I MARRIED A LESBIAN
Chapter 38 - I MARRIED ANOTHER LESBIAN
Chapter 39 - I MARRIED A HOOKER
Chapter 40 - I ALMOST GET KILLED ÉTWICE
Chapter 41 - I MARRIED CINDERELLA
Chapter 42 - I MARRIED A BALLERINA
Chapter 43 - I MARRIED LITTLE DEBBIE
Chapter 44 - I MARRIED MARILYN MONROE
Chapter 45 - MY LATEST DEATH-DEFYING FEAT